You are now entering the one stop place for everything, Abiding in the Faith!

By Pastor Jason

Early one morning, I received a phone call that made my heart sink. I was told that a good friend of mine passed away in her sleep suddenly and was gone. I felt that same feeling when my grandmother passed away. Some deaths just hit closer to the heart than others, and this death was another one that hit close to home. The week began with the couple celebrating Mother’s Day together, and then a few days later, the celebration ended.

I was grieved on the phone as I realized that my friend was gone. I could not imagine the heartbreak that her husband was feeling. He woke up to find his wife unresponsive. Terror gripped him as he tried to wake her up before he realized that his wife had passed away. He sat there in shock; his wife of 38 years was alive and vibrant the day earlier, then, without an explanation, had passed into eternity. Suddenly, he became acquainted with grief.

In his grief over the loss of his loved one, he questioned God. Why did God take away his wife? Why now?

He is a Christian and knows that his wife is in the presence of the Lord. This thought comforts him, yet the grief he is feeling is real. How does he handle his grief? Whom can he turn to in this time of sorrow and pain? 

After I hung up the phone, I went before God in prayer. I prayed for her husband and children that God would comfort them in their grief. Then, my thoughts turned to scripture, and I remembered the story of Lazarus.

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were great friends of Jesus. Whenever Jesus traveled to Bethany, he would always stop at the house for a meal. He would drop in unannounced, and they became best friends over time. The day Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, he told his disciples that Lazarus was ill, but his illness would not lead to death. Why? Because “It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” (John 11:4 ESV)

 The Bible then tells us in John 11:5-6 that “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.” 

Why did Jesus wait for two days before making the trip? Why did he not hasten fully to Bethany when he heard the news?

Jesus, being omniscient (Knowing all things at all times), knew that Lazarus was going to pass away.

During those two days of grief, Mary and Martha could have felt abandoned by the Lord as they waited on the Lord. Jesus knew that those observing him would begin to place their faith in him as the Messiah through Lazarus’s death and resurrection.

Scripture tells us in Lamentations, “For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.” Lamentations 3:31-33.

After the two days ended, Jesus said to his disciples, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.”  The disciples said to him, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.”  Now Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that he meant taking rest in sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” and his disciples made their way to Bethany.” (John 11:11-15)

John 11:17-37

“Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”  Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.”  Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”  She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”

When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying in private, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there.  Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept.  So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?”

From this story of Lazarus and Jesus, we can learn how to respond when we are grieved over the death of a loved one.

1. When someone is grieving, console them.  

John 11:19 says that “many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother.”

Consoling a person when they have lost a loved one is best handled by just being there for them in their time of need. I have seen people attempt to console the person dealing with grief with words that may seem encouraging but do not provide comfort. The Jews who came to Mary and Martha were crying alongside them. Their presence in being there meant more to them than words.   

Romans 12:15, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”

• Run to Jesus when you are grieving.

When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she met him, but Mary remained seated in the house.

Martha was the first to run to Jesus when she heard he arrived. You can run to others for comfort, but God is the only one who can provide hope. Martha ran to Jesus, knowing that her hope was found in him.   

• It’s ok to question God when you are grieving. (John 11:21-22)

“Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” 

Martha essentially said, Lord, if you were here, you could have saved my brother. Why did you wait two days to come? Why did you not heal my brother’s sickness with your words? Jesus, why did my brother have to die and not recover? Jesus, I just came running to you. Can you please do something?

In response, Jesus showed compassion to Martha by reassuring her that her brother would rise again. Jesus was speaking about the miracle he was about to perform. But Martha, knowing that death was final, thought he was talking about rising again in the resurrection on the last day.

• In grief, remember that as a Christian, you will see your loved one again in heaven because of the resurrection.

Then Jesus says to Martha a vital truth.

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)

Do you believe this truth?

I know that my friend did before she passed away into eternity. Her husband knows that he will see her again in heaven someday because he believes.

Jesus says that whoever believes in him shall have everlasting life even though the person’s physical body dies. Martha did and responded by saying, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”

It’s the hope of resurrection and seeing our loved ones again in heaven that can help us process our grief.

Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.”

• It’s ok to process your grief before running to God, but you still need to come to him with your grief.

Martha was the first to run to Jesus for comfort by being in his presence. In comparison, Mary stayed back and continued to process her grief. Jesus knew that it was time for Mary to come to him.

John 11:28-32

“When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying in private, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.”  And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 

Mary, as did Martha, had questions for Jesus. But she also knew who to turn to in her time of grief. In her grief, Mary brought with her others who needed the hope that only Christ can provide. 

• We come to Jesus with our grief because he is acquainted with grief.

“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.  And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.”  Jesus wept.” (John 11:33-35) 

Jesus wept. Jesus was acquainted with grief and was a man of sorrow (Isaiah 53:3). He understood what it is like to be grieved in his spirit. Jesus saw how death affected those grieving and was deeply moved in his spirit.

“So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.”  When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.”  The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” (John 11:36-44)

• There is comfort in knowing that our loved ones are unbound now in a house in heaven.

God used the death and resurrection of Lazarus in this story for the people around him. When the people saw the resurrection of Lazarus, they had a chance to believe that Jesus was the Son of God. Even though our loved ones today won’t be resurrected like Lazarus was on this day, their death freed them from the pain and suffering of this world.   

2 Corinthians 5:1, “For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.”

Our loved one is now with the Lord in a house in heaven.

I asked myself, “What good can come from a Christian’s sudden departure from this world to the next?” If my friend had not passed on, would I be writing this article you are reading today?

Her life inspired many as she told others about the love of Christ and that she found her salvation in him. In her death, the exact words are still being spoken today. Some will read this article in their grief and will turn to Jesus to find salvation and the promise of life after death in eternity.

What good can come from this? If you turn to Jesus Christ in your grief and accept him as your savior, Jesus will forgive you of your sins, and you, too, can have the promise of life after death in eternity.

Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” (John 11:25-27)

Do you believe this?

Steps to Salvation. – Abiding in the Faith

About the Author

Jason is an author, pastor, and host of the Abiding in the Faith podcast. Abiding in the Faith ministries exists to help strengthen a person’s walk with the Lord so God can be made known. To Know More, go to http://www.abidinginthefaith.org.

The Abiding in the Faith Podcast can be heard of all major podcasting platforms. https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/jN3NOcrD1wb